Many times we wonder if the deceased person being eulogised is one and the same individual lying in the casket at the foot of the altar. For the first time in a very long while did last Thursday's "Remembrance" of thirty-six year old Jillian Elizabeth Silman by Sister Petronilla Joseph, so fittingly describe the person we all knew. I can never forget the repetition by her late father, John, which continued through the weeks before her baptism, when I was asked to be her godmother, that I was to remember that her name was to be spelt with a "J". This gave John's cherished daughter the same initials as his "John Ernest Silman".
Last Thursday Bishop Clive Abdulah celebrated a Funeral Mass in celebration and thanksgiving for the life of this young mother of 17 month old Liam, at a packed All Saints Anglican Church. It was a morning when many of the most zealous believers must have asked the question "why." Jillian, the second of two children born to Velta and John Silman had been predeceased by her father just two months ago on May 7, and by her elder brother Michael at age 34, five years ago on May 28, 1996.
Sister Petronilla touched even the hardest heart when she said "Jillian's greatest joy was the birth of her son Liam (the fulfilment of a dream). She considered him a gift to her. In a spirit of true sacrifice and selflessness she died that Liam might live. For it was immediately after giving birth to her son that the reality of her illness awakened her to the dawn of a "new day", albeit a difficult discovery." Jillian was diagnosed with breast cancer.
I admired the strength of this young woman throughout her illness of just over a year as she handled the general malaise which comes through chemotherapy with a wisdom and philosophy beyond her 36 years. And even as the disease spread and she loss the strength of her legs, nothing or no one could keep her from attending her father's funeral last May where she sat beside the casket with Liam in her lap. This overwhelming strength continued to the week of her death when she quietly told me that she would be keeping her chemotherapy appointment on Wednesday last "they will lift me Auntie Ange" she said. By 7.30 a.m. on Sunday July 15, Jillian had gone to that place where according to Sister Petronilla "there will be no more sadness, no more suffering, no more pain, no more fear and where every tear will be wiped away."
A hug from my goddaughter was all-enveloping as she was about twice my height and twice my size, but it was always filled with genuine love, because Jillian loved people generally, and moreso those near and dear to her. So deep was her love for her parents that as she fought the tough battle against not only her illness but in accepting the reality of her father's illness, she mentioned to me that she had asked God to please not let her pass on before her parents "I really don't want them to go through what they went through when Michael (her only sibling) died."
"Jillian" said Sister Petronilla "has always been known to be full of life, laughter and fun...Jillian loved life and lived it to its fullest- she enjoyed everything there was to enjoy. She cherished her friends and treasured the moments of a 'good lime.' She understood the meaning of true friendship and was always ready with a listening ear or a word of advice to anyone who needed it, even from her bed of suffering and pain."
Somehow it was understandable when Jillie, as she was called, chose for her career which she loved with a passion, caring for "special" children at the Lady Hochoy Home for Children with Mental Retardation. According to Sister Petronilla, her mentor from Secondary School at Corpus Christi College "Jillian saw each child as someone special....She believed in the philosophy that each child possessed a gift, a talent, which could be developed and she was very uncomfortable if her colleagues did not share the same view and work towards developing each child's potential....She was convinced that every child should be helped but she also strongly believed that it was the duty of the parents to ensure that the child should benefit from any help that was available."
"Her compassionate love for them, compelled her to challenge as well, parents with a handicapped child, even when she met them on the streets, regarding their duty toward their children. She was known to jolt them into a reality by questioning them about their duties: "what are you doing to help your child?" If they appeared tardy or ignorant about what they should do, Jillian would refer them to the Lady Hochoy Home where she assured them they would obtain the necessary assistance. She was convinced that every child should be helped but she also strongly believed that it was the duty of the parents to ensure that the child should benefit from any help that was available."
So strong were her convictions that in 1988 she opened her own school "Something Special" for "children with special needs" particularly with Downes Syndrome. Later, she integrated into the system, normal children, which was her way of teaching children from as early an age as possible to accept, to respect, to appreciate, to tolerate and to love every one, despite his or her special needs.
"Jillian had a heart of gold, in fact, everyone who knew her, would agree that it was many, many centimeters bigger than her size. She never hugged her talents. Everything she owned, her gifts, her time, her love, was for everyone, especially the children. Always ready to share, to give, to encourage - that was Jillian Silman" said Sister Petronilla.